My Return To Schindler's List

I have just returned from a 9:30 pm showing of a theatrical rerelease of Steven Spielberg's multi-award-winning film, “Schindler's List.” This week marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of the release of Spielberg's film and I wanted to see the film in theaters after being indirectly informed through a friend's post on facebook. When I read the post, I was determined to go and see the film. I arrived at 9:15 pm at my local AMC Theater, bought a regular size cup, poured a fruit-flavored drink with ice, and had the entire screening to myself. I had expected more people to be there since film is well-renowned, even after winning Winner of seven Academy Awards¨ including Best Picture and Best Director. I stayed until the very end of the credits, which I marked on my cellphone at fifty-six minutes after midnight. I came to my apartment and decided to post this journal entry. I should mention that this is not a film review (as there are reviewers who far more eloquent than myself who can do much better), but rather how the much film has meant to me, means to me now, and lessons I took from my recent viewing.

At the time of the film's original release in 1993, I was seven years old. By that time, I had only been exposed to Disney films and to entertainment that was suitable to a child of my age. The first time I had become aware of the film was when I was in middle school in 1998 at the age of twelve. During that time, Mrs. Rowan made us read a book called “Number the Stars,” which was about “the story of a ten-year-old Danish girl and her family's courageous efforts to smuggle Jews out of their Nazi-occupied homeland to safety in Sweden,” by Lois Lowry. This was my first exposure to understanding the events of the Holocaust. One particular day, there was a general assembly in the auditorium and all the students attended. There was a woman (whose name I sadly cannot recall) who had been a survivor of the holocaust thanks to efforts of Oskar Schindler, “a German industrialist and a member of the Nazi Party who saved the lives of 1,200 Jews during the Holocaust” (Thanks, Wikipedia). Seriously though, I was struck by her story, she mentioned the film, and I remember one teacher asking if the survivor “was there at the end.” Since I had not even been aware of the film's existence beforehand, I didn't know what that teacher was asking. I remember one thing the survivor had said that I never forgot. She mentioned that if she ever saw someone get bullied then she would intervene and tell the bully to stop. In middle school, I was bullied frequently and I wish that I had gotten to meet her and then got to know her and perhaps she could have been my mentor. I would have liked her and would have wanted to learn more deep and meaningful lessons from her.

That same year, I had also been exposed to the Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition on VHS, which my father bought for me and my sister to watch. I became a huge fan. The next year, “Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace” was released and while I had missed its original theatrical run, I watched it when it was released on video cassette. At around the same, Schindler's List was going to be broadcast some evening on PBS. I immediately knew the lead actor's name, Liam Neeson, who I recognized for his performance as the jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn from the first instalment of the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Seeing that he was playing the lead role of Oskar Schindler and remembering the testimony of the holocaust survivor, I felt I needed to see it. On the evening it was broadcasted, it was shown uncut. My parents were not aware that I watched the film and since it was not on a school night, I was not made to go to bed early. In the den of a renovated basement at home, I watched the whole film. I was initially shocked by what I had seen. I knew the movie was about the Holocaust, but I didn't expect for it to feel almost too realistic. I couldn't believe that human beings were made to suffer because they were different, but I was also aware of the importance of the film and it's message. At the film's end, it touched my heart though I did not cry. It taught me how much I didn’t know about Schindler’s life and it encouraged me to research it in detail. Since then, I had the seen the film on rare occasions, even though I owned a copy of it on DVD years later. To this day, I cannot recall how many times I have seen the film, but I made point to watch it only once a year.

As of 2018, I am in my early thirties now and in the week leading up to this journal entry, it seemed to be a prelude to this viewing. At my job, where I work at a retirement facility, few of the residents had a brief Hanukkah ceremony, in which they would light a “candle” (which was a small flamed shaped light bulb) into an electric menorah. A resident named “Buddy,” as he likes to be called, would volunteer to read a brief prayer in Hebrew, “light the candle,” and the few residents who attended would sing the dreidel song and that would be all. Strangely enough, while I am not Jewish, during my break, I attended each of those “candle lighting” ceremonies on my scheduled workdays, and I was blessed in getting to know some of the residents in attendance. I shared some of my knowledge of Jewish history with them (my interest in it was rooted in meeting a former prime minister of Israel two years before). They appreciated it and they seemed to welcome me into their little gathering. As of this posting, I am on vacation this week and during this time, I had been doing research on the founding the state of Israel in 1948 and the inspiring life of Israel's first prime-minister and main founding father – David Ben-Guirion. He once said in an interview on CBS on October 5, 1956 (to which I discovered just yesterday), “In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.” In my opinion that it would be hard not to believe in miracles in reading and learning the history of the Jewish people. While I do not know if I have Jewish ancestry, they have been without a doubt some of the most resilient people in our human history.

My last viewing of Schindler's List seems to be a culmination of what I have been learning about for the past two weeks, at least in terms of culture and history. Yet I wonder as to the purpose of it. I feel that it has led up this moment, but for what? I was certainly touched by the story again. Tears welled up during my viewing of two scenes of movie. The first time I saw the film, I didn't cry and almost never cry in watching movies. One being a scene of an innocent, unoffending, little girl wearing a red coat, walking down the street and wandering around amidst the chaos and violence while people are being slaughtered around her. My heart broke for that little girl and even more knowing that see that she would soon die. 

 

The second time my tears welled up was when Schindler broke down and cried, wishing he could have saved more. 

  

I didn't understand why he cried at my very first viewing. As an adult, I now understand. Schindler was crying because he realized just how much one human life was worth. At the beginning of the story, all Schindler wanted to do was to make money and he needed workers so he would use the Jews to help his factory. There was nothing notable about him, no hint of character. But when the moment came, when he realized the horrors and suffering the Jews endure, it awakened his conscience and prompted him to sacrifice his money/everything to save them from any more pain. In so doing he saved the lives of 1,200 people who would have otherwise perished in the holocaust. He went beyond the realm of help and because of what he did for them, they were able to live and rebuild their lives.

Yes, I was certainly moved by the story and it has affected to the point where I needed to post an entry on my experience with it and yet I wonder why? What purpose? I would never write (or this case type) this about any other movie. This is movie is supposed to serve a purpose and the filming of Schindler’s List inspired Mr. Spielberg to create the USC Shoah Foundation to record the testimony of Holocaust survivors. In seeing this, I find my answer. In the same way that Oskar Schindler was moved, albeit slowly, to save the lives of 1,200 people, in the same way that Steven Spielberg was moved to create the USC Shoah Foundation, we must be moved to strive to make the world a better place. Most people who have watched this movie have been touched and yet have moved on with their lives. They tell their friends how powerful it was to them and recommend it, but that's all. We must do more, especially at this time given the political climate in the United States (and in many other countries around the world) right now. The film can be a tool to be used in educating those on the horrors of the Holocaust. To quote the line from the Talmud in the ring given to Schindler by the Jews he saved: “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” I am apt to believe if more people see this movie, that more lives can be saved.

And yet there is still more that we must do. Abraham Lincoln said his Gettysburg Address, “The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work... It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain...” In context, Lincoln was acknowledging that anything he or anyone else said at that ceremony on November 19, 1863 were just words, and those words were nothing in comparison to what the soldiers went through and gave during that battle of Gettysburg a few months before. He also gave to us, the living, a call to action, a resolve to complete “the unfinished work” being preserving the Union and its ideals of equality, liberty, and freedom. Today in 2018, our unfinished work is that these stories and testimonies of those who experienced the Holocaust are remembered and that the “dead shall not have died in vain.” Slowly the survivors and their times will become history and there will be those who will claim that their stories are false and have no merit. We must defend against such people by educating more young people about those events, instructing them to stand up against injustice, and help them understand that in doing so they can prevent another holocaust from occurring.

As for me personally, I am going to start reading books about the holocaust, beginning with Schindler's List (the book adapted for the film) by Thomas Keneally, donate some money to the USC Shoah Foundation and the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum (USHMM) in Washington, D.C., reach out and perhaps volunteer and/or raise money for those organizations, pay a visit to USHMM and pay my respects in person at the grave of Oskar Schindler, located at the Catholic cemetery on the southern slope of Mount Zion, in Jerusalem, Israel. I want to share what I have learned with others who want to learn. I want this experience to make me a better person. I want to be what I want to see in others. I need to embrace the change and seek out opportunities, learn from my mistakes instead of making excuses, listen and learn more with an open mind, do random acts of kindness even if nobody sees me while not expecting anything in return, live up to my full potential, and make wise decisions while reminding myself that it is never too late to make a difference. If Oskar Schindler could redeem himself then maybe I could as well.

In conclusion, I hope that throughout the rest of my life, whether it long or short, that I will perpetually honor the six million, who could not be here, through my words and deeds. I dedicate this journal entry to the memory of the countless victims among them and to the life, legacy, and memory of Oskar Schindler.

Remembering Pastor Billy Graham (1918-2018)

I know that it has been a long time since my last journal entry, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about something that's been on my mind for the past two days. As most of you reading this may know already, Pastor Billy Graham, a farmer's son from North Carolina who preached to millions of people about Jesus Christ, a pastor to several Presidents of the United States, and for more than 60 years had been America's best-known Christian evangelist, passed away at the age of 99 in his home in Montreat, North Carolina at 7:46 in the morning on February 21, 2018. Even though so much has been said about his life, his ministry, and his legacy by those far more eloquent than myself, I wanted to talk about the effect that Billy Graham has had on me throughout my life.

My first introduction came in the year 1998 at the age of twelve. I grew up with a Christian father who did his best to teach me about God and instructed biblical ethics to me throughout my early life. It was on a Saturday night, and I found my dad watching television in the living room. I cannot recall what brought about my interest, but I soon found myself sitting next to my father and viewing the program. The program was a crusade held by renowned preacher, Pastor Billy Graham, in a big stadium. I don't remember where he preached from, but according to my recent research (thanks to Google and Wikipedia), he may have been at Tampa, Florida at that time. I remembered seeing the Gaither Vocal Band (which I'll talk about later) sing some Christians songs and then heard George Beverly Shea sing “How Great Thou Art” in his baritone voice. While I can't remember what Billy Graham preached about, but I remembered being impressed by his style of oratory. When Pastor Graham had finished preaching and as the choir began to sing, “Just As I Am” a hymn, written by Charlotte Elliott in 1835 (thanks, Wikipedia), my father went to go upstairs to go to bed, I told him I wanted to watch the rest of it. He told me it was already the end of the program, but I still wanted to see how it ended. With that my father allowed me to watch the rest of it and he retired upstairs to bed.

As time went on, I began to become curious and wanted to know more about Pastor Graham and his ministry. I remembered asking my father questions about him and he answered as best as he could with the knowledge that he knew about Dr. Graham. I had hoped that one day, Pastor Graham would come to Massachusetts and then I could ask my dad if we could go and see him together. Pastor Graham never did come to give a crusade in Massachusetts since the beginning of my existence. In fact, the last time he had done so was in 1982, four years before I was born. In 1998, he was 80 years old and by that time he was doing fewer crusades as he was getting on in age. I had even thought of perhaps meeting him one day and perhaps I could introduce him to my dad. That would have been awesome. I wonder what that meeting could have been like. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but those were what my thoughts at the time. 

After the attacks of September 11, 2001, I had developed a cold during that week and stayed home Thursday and Friday, September 13-14 and the rest of the weekend. On the 14^th, I was covered in a blanket, occasionally blowing my runny nose with a tissue, and watched the National Day of Prayer and Remembrance Service at the National Cathedral, Washington, D. C. on television. As young as I was, I had developed an interest in history and the American Presidency from an even younger age (that's another story for another time). I felt honored to see history unfolding before my eyes as I viewed President George W. Bush standing with several former presidents: Bill Clinton, his father George H. W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, and Gerald R. Ford. I saw a gentleman helping the elderly Billy Graham up the steps to the podium as a news commentator mentioned his age, then 82, and frail health. As he was going up to speak and thought “my dad would have liked to see this moment” and I thought against telling him as I was still sick. I listened intently as Pastor Graham spoke: “I’ve become an old man now, and I’ve preached all over the world. And the older I get, the more I cling to that hope that I started with many years ago.... My prayer today is that we will feel the loving arms of God wrapped around us and that as we trust in Him, we will know in our hearts that He will never forsake us. We know also that God will give wisdom and courage and strength to the President and those around him. And this will be a day that we will remember as a Day of Victory.” I did not know it then, but that sermon would become a “defining moment in the final decade of his public ministry” (America’s Pastor: Billy Graham and the Shaping of a Nation, Page 283).

Then on another Saturday night in 2001, I saw a program on PAX TV called “A Billy Graham Homecoming Celebration” and I had no idea what I was in store for. I didn't know what a “Homecoming Celebration” was. I had assumed that since Billy Graham was often away from home due to his evangelistic crusades, I thought the people who were singing in the homecoming would be welcoming him home and he would most likely preach a sermon at the end of the celebration. Instead, I saw these wonderful singers (whom I sadly did not know of at the time) sit together in a room with Dr. Graham's wife, Ruth Bell Graham, who was in a wheelchair and singing Christian songs (few of which I knew). It was hosted and produced by Bill Gaither and his wife Gloria. I would become much more acquainted with their music during my college years. I was initially disappointed that Pastor Graham did not show up and was confused as to why he had not, but I enjoyed the songs and the program, nonetheless.

The next year on another Saturday night, my dad was watching another crusade held by Billy Graham at the Metroplex Mission in Dallas, Texas on the same night that I was having a sleepover with friends from church. I was a little embarrassed and I rashly changed the channel to appear “cooler”, but my dad protested, “Hey, I was watching that.” “Oh sorry, Dad” I replied sheepishly and returned the channel to the crusade. I remember country music star Randy Travis was singing that night so it must have taken place on October 19, 2002. It was last time that I would view a Billy Graham crusade with my father, and it was the final crusade that Billy Graham would give. Looking back, I feel a sense of loss of those moments when my father and I would watch those crusades. My father and I would sadly grow apart as I grew into adulthood. I miss those times of innocence and the spiritual moments I shared with my dad.

I went to off to college some years later and while I had times of happiness and frequently look back fondly during my time there, there were also times of loneliness. During those times of loneliness, I would do research on Billy Graham's life and ministry, viewed some of his sermons on YouTube (as well as rediscovering and enjoying music from the Gaithers), and took an interest in obtaining a copy of his autobiography. When I was away from school, my parents had already divorced, and I lived at my aunt's (my father's sister's house) while my father lived there also for a while. On the days I was off from work, I would walk to the local library and read from a copy of “Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham,” which I found fascinating. I enjoyed this autobiography a lot more than I thought I would. To think that he grew up on a dairy farm during the Depression-era, studied to become a minister, became a well-renowned evangelist, shared several friendships with American Presidents, world leaders, and celebrities, and most importantly brought people to Christ and through him God would change the lives of those who accepted him.

I remember one afternoon while I was at school in the computer lab, I watched highlights of the dedication of the Billy Graham Library, while former Presidents Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, and Bill Clinton and other dignitaries were in attendance. With the use of my headphones, I viewed and listened the eloquent words that some of the dignitaries who spoke there. They spoke of how Billy Graham had touched their lives and how he brought them closer in their walk with God. As Pastor Graham got up to the podium and said jokingly, “I feel like I've been attending my own funeral.” There was some applause and some laughter, but later on his discourse he said, “And I'm overwhelmed. My one comment to it was it's too much Billy Graham. You know, my whole life has been to please the Lord and to honor Jesus, not to see me.” I was touched by that. It seemed that he did not want attention or be awarded for his preaching of the gospel, his satisfaction in which I assume only, was seeing the millions that came forward and accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. He knew it was never about himself, a messenger, but of the message and to the Lord who called him to proclaim that same message of Christ, the Cross, and God's plan to save humanity from sin. Even though he had aged, the power and feelings of convictions were as strong as ever.

While the early morning was seemingly dawning in my life, the sun was setting on Pastor's Graham's life as he was approaching his final years. I had often wondered what he was doing in his home in Montreat, North Carolina and how he spent his time. I imagined that on good days during the spring and summer time, he would be taken outside to be seated in a chair on his front porch of his mountaintop cabin as he would gaze off into the distance as it would appear to him. Perhaps as he sat out there, he would quietly reminisce to himself and review the memories of his life, recalling funny stories and he would quietly laugh to himself, lamenting over personal regrets he may have had, lovingly remember his wife Ruth whom he outlived by a little over ten years, and occasionally receive visitors, family, and friends. All the while holding onto the hope and safe in the knowledge that Jesus Christ was still his Saviour, Lord, and Friend. I imagined him as something like Moses on Mount Nebo, looking toward the promised land before his death, and now the elderly Billy Graham was looking forward to entering the new promised land in heaven when his time on Earth would be completed. 

Now his journey has ended, the sun of his life has set. I am in my own life approaching mid-morning and as the years pass, it will be noon, then afternoon, and the sun will begin to set on my life. I took this time to reflect on my own life and wonder if I am doing what God is calling me to do in my life. Pastor Graham's ministry began in 1947 at the age of 27 and went onto to live an amazing life. He made something of it while I now at the age of 31 have not nearly enough. I should not compare my life with his as that would be unfair. My life isn't over yet. Dr. Graham would say that it was not of his doing, but Christ. He would do his best to point people to Jesus. He would cite John 14:6, which will be inscribed on his grave at the Billy Graham Library and Museum in Charlotte, North Carolina where he will be laid to rest.

I have no doubt that Billy Graham was a remarkable man and has probably influenced more people than anyone else in the last century. He has been an inspiration to me for many years. So much so that I intend to order a paperback copy of "Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham, Revised and Updated” published in 2007. I seem to have misplaced my hardcover copy so I will order this new one in the next two days. I enjoyed reading and learning about his history and about his family and will do so again when I receive it in the days ahead. I also hope in the coming years to pay a visit to the Billy Graham Library (which blogger Souvenir Chronicles wrote a wonderful blog entry about her visit there in 2013). From what I have read it is a beautiful place, which is informative and inspiring (not to mention that the admission is free). I have purposed in my heart to travel there, visit the library and homestead, and pay my respects to Cliff Barrows, George Beverly Shea, Ruth Bell Graham, and of course to her husband Billy.

The sun is now set and it's Saturday night again. As I was typing this, I have been listening to a prerecorded livestream from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association website, featuring excerpts of Billy Graham's sermons, interviews with people who knew and interacted with him, highlights of Ruth's contribution to her husband's life and ministry as well as her own amazing life story. I found myself inspired again and will have to do some serious soul searching. This time has caused me to reflect on own relationship with God. I must examine and re-examine my own heart. I must bend my will to God’s will and be born again. I need to look to the Cross again. "The cross tells us that God understands our sin and our suffering," Pastor Graham once said, "for he took upon himself in the person of Jesus Christ our sins and our suffering. And from the cross, God declares, 'I love you. I know the heartaches and the sorrows and the pains that you feel. But I love you.' The story does not end with the cross, for Easter points us beyond the tragedy of the cross to the empty tomb that tells us that there is hope for eternal life, for Christ has conquered evil and death and hell. Yes, there is hope." 

My own feeble words expressed here may drift into obscurity and even if they remain unnoticed, one thing that will never be forgotten will be the story of a humble man who allowed himself to be used by God and the lives of thousands who were touched by the message he preached. What was that message? Simple. God loves us and he sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins and when we put our faith and trust in Jesus we are forgiven. There lies our hope. Therein lies his legacy. This was the message that Billy Graham preached to millions around the world. He once concluded one of his final sermons with these words: "If you remember nothing else that I've said this evening, remember these three words: GOD LOVES YOU."

I want to close this entry with a brief excerpt from Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham (1997): "I don’t know the future, but I do know this: the best is yet to be! Heaven awaits us, and that will be far, far more glorious than anything we can ever imagine. I know that soon my life will be over. I thank God for it, and for all He has given me in this life. But I look forward to Heaven. I look forward to the reunion with friends and loved ones who have gone on before. I look forward to Heaven’s freedom from sorrow and pain. I also look forward to serving God in ways we can’t begin to imagine, for the Bible makes it clear that Heaven is not a place of idleness. And most of all, I look forward to seeing Christ and bowing before Him in praise and gratitude for all He has done for us, and for using me on this earth by His grace — just as I am."