I know it has been a long time since my last journal entry, but I wanted to take a moment to write about something that has been on my mind for the past two days. As most of you reading this already know, Pastor Billy Graham, a farmer’s son from North Carolina who preached to millions about Jesus Christ, a spiritual adviser to several Presidents of the United States, and for more than sixty years America’s best known Christian evangelist, passed away at the age of ninety nine in his home in Montreat, North Carolina at 7:46 in the morning on February 21, 2018.
Although so much has already been said about his life, his ministry, and his legacy by those far more eloquent than myself, I wanted to reflect on the effect Billy Graham had on me throughout my life.
My first introduction to him came in 1998, when I was twelve years old. I grew up with a Christian father who did his best to teach me about God and to instill biblical ethics in me throughout my early life. One Saturday night, I found my dad watching television in the living room. I cannot recall what drew my attention, but before long I found myself sitting beside him, watching a program together.
The broadcast was a crusade led by the renowned preacher Billy Graham, held in a large stadium. I do not remember where it took place, but according to later research it may have been in Tampa, Florida. I remember seeing the Gaither Vocal Band sing Christian songs and then hearing George Beverly Shea sing How Great Thou Art in his rich baritone voice. While I cannot recall the content of Billy Graham’s sermon that night, I clearly remember being impressed by his style of speaking.
When he finished preaching and the choir began to sing Just As I Am, the hymn written by Charlotte Elliott in 1835, my father stood up to go upstairs to bed. I told him I wanted to keep watching. He replied that the program was already ending, but I insisted. He allowed me to stay and watch while he went upstairs.
As time went on, I grew curious and wanted to know more about Billy Graham and his ministry. I remember asking my father questions about him, and my dad answered as best he could with what he knew. I hoped that one day Billy Graham would come to Massachusetts so that my father and I could attend a crusade together. That never happened. The last time he had preached in Massachusetts was in 1982, four years before I was born. By 1998 he was already eighty years old and holding fewer crusades. I even imagined meeting him one day and introducing him to my father. At the time, it felt like a realistic hope.
After the attacks of September 11, 2001, I came down with a cold and stayed home from school on Thursday and Friday, September 13 and 14, and through the weekend. Wrapped in a blanket and occasionally reaching for tissues, I watched the National Day of Prayer and Remembrance Service at the National Cathedral, Washington, D. C. on television.As he approached the microphone, I thought to myself that my father would have liked to see this moment, but I chose not to call upstairs since I was still sick. I listened closely as Billy Graham spoke words that stayed with me:
“I’ve become an old man now, and I’ve preached all over the world. And the older I get, the more I cling to that hope that I started with many years ago. My prayer today is that we will feel the loving arms of God wrapped around us and that as we trust in Him, we will know in our hearts that He will never forsake us. We know also that God will give wisdom and courage and strength to the President and those around him. And this will be a day that we will remember as a Day of Victory.”
I did not realize it then, but that address would later be described as a defining moment in the final decade of his public ministry.
Instead, I saw a group of singers gathered in a room with his wife, Ruth Bell Graham, who was seated in a wheelchair. They sang Christian songs, many of which I did not know at the time. The program was hosted by Bill Gaither and his wife Gloria, whose music I would later come to appreciate during my college years. I was initially confused and disappointed that Billy Graham never appeared, but I enjoyed the music and the warmth of the program, nonetheless.
The following year, on another Saturday night in 2002, my dad was watching yet another Billy Graham crusade, this one from the Metroplex Mission in Dallas, Texas, on the same evening I was having a sleepover with friends from church. Feeling embarrassed and trying to appear cool, I quickly changed the channel, only for my dad to protest that he had been watching the program. Sheepishly, I apologized and switched it back.
That night, country music singer Randy Travis performed, which leads me to believe the crusade took place on October 19, 2002. It was the last time my father and I would watch a Billy Graham crusade together, and it was also the final crusade Billy Graham ever preached.
Looking back now, I feel a sense of loss when I think about those moments with my father. As I grew into adulthood, my father and I gradually grew apart. I miss those times of innocence and the shared spiritual moments we once had.
Years later, I went off to college. While there were many happy moments that I still look back on fondly, there were also periods of loneliness. During those times, I found myself researching Billy Graham’s life and ministry, watching his sermons online, rediscovering Gaither music, and eventually deciding to read his autobiography.
By that time, my parents had divorced, and I lived at my aunt’s house for a period while my father also stayed there. On my days off from work, I would walk to the local library and read “Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham.” I found it far more engaging than I had expected. I was fascinated by his journey from growing up on a dairy farm during the Great Depression to becoming one of the most well known evangelists in the world, forming friendships with presidents, world leaders, and celebrities, and most importantly, leading countless people to Christ.
One afternoon while studying in my college computer lab, I watched highlights from the dedication of the Billy Graham Library, Former Presidents Jimmy Carter, George H. W. Bush, and Bill Clinton were in attendance, along with many other dignitaries. Wearing my headphones, I listened to them speak about how Billy Graham had influenced their lives and deepened their faith.
When Billy Graham himself approached the podium, he joked, “I feel like I’ve been attending my own funeral.” There was laughter and applause, but later he said something that deeply moved me: “My whole life has been to please the Lord and to honor Jesus, not to see me.”
That statement said everything. He never wanted the focus to be on himself. He understood that he was only a messenger, and that the message belonged to Christ. Even in his later years, the conviction behind his words remained strong.
As the early morning was still unfolding in my own life, the sun was beginning to set on Billy Graham’s. I often found myself wondering how he spent his final years in his home in Montreat. I imagined him seated on the porch of his mountain cabin on warm spring or summer days, gazing into the distance, quietly reflecting on his life. I imagined him remembering moments of joy and laughter, regretting past failures, missing his wife Ruth whom he outlived by more than ten years, and welcoming visits from friends and family.
Above all, I imagined him resting in the assurance that Jesus Christ remained his Savior, Lord, and Friend. I thought of him as Moses on Mount Nebo, looking toward the promised land. Billy Graham, near the end of his earthly journey, was looking forward to the promise of heaven.Now his journey has ended. The sun has set on his life. I find myself approaching mid-morning in my own. In time, it will be noon, then afternoon, and eventually the sun will begin to set on my life as well. His death has caused me to reflect deeply and to ask whether I am living in accordance with God’s calling.
Billy Graham’s public ministry began in 1947 when he was twenty seven years old. By comparison, at thirty one, I feel as though I have accomplished very little. Yet I remind myself that comparison is neither fair nor wise. My life is not over. Billy Graham himself would insist that anything he accomplished was not by his own strength, but by Christ.
He would constantly point people to Jesus, often quoting John 14:6, the verse that will be inscribed on his grave at the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he will be laid to rest.
There is no doubt that Billy Graham was a remarkable man who influenced more people than perhaps anyone else in the past century. He has been a source of inspiration to me for many years. Because of that, I intend to order a paperback copy of "Just As I Am: The Autobiography of Billy Graham, Revised and Updated” published in 2007. I believe I misplaced my hardcover copy, but I look forward to reading it again.I also hope someday to visit the Billy Graham Library and homestead in person. From everything I have read from blogger Souvenir Chronicles who wrote a wonderful blog entry about her visit there in 2013, it is a beautiful and inspiring place. I have purposed in my heart to travel there one day and to pay my respects to Cliff Barrows, George Beverly Shea, Ruth Bell Graham, and of course Billy himself. Billy.
Now the sun has set, and it is Saturday night once again. As I write this, I am listening to a prerecorded livestream from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association featuring sermon excerpts, interviews, and reflections on both Billy and Ruth Graham’s lives. Once again, I feel inspired and convicted.
This has become a time of serious self examination. I must look again at my relationship with God, examine my heart, bend my will to His, and return to the cross. As Billy Graham once said, “The cross tells us that God understands our sin and our suffering. From the cross, God declares, ‘I love you.’ The story does not end with the cross, for Easter points us beyond it to the empty tomb that tells us there is hope.”
Even if my own words fade into obscurity, the story of a humble man who allowed himself to be used by God will never be forgotten, nor will the lives of the thousands touched by his message. That message was simple. God loves us. He sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins, and when we place our faith in Him, we are forgiven. That is our hope. That is his legacy.
Billy Graham once concluded a sermon by saying, “If you remember nothing else I’ve said this evening, remember these three words: God loves you.”
I would like to close with an excerpt from Just As I Am:
“I don’t know the future, but I do know this: the best is yet to be. Heaven awaits us, and it will be far more glorious than anything we can imagine. I thank God for all He has given me in this life, but I look forward to Heaven. Most of all, I look forward to seeing Christ and bowing before Him in praise and gratitude for all He has done, and for using me on this earth by His grace, just as I am.”
