Intrigued by Harry Potter (Part 2)

It is now October 31st, which most people celebrate a holiday known as Halloween, in which they dress up in costumes and get together to celebrate. Halloween was never a holiday I really cared for while I was growing up. All I cared about in regard to that holiday was receiving extra candy for no apparent reason.

To fans of the Harry Potter book series, written by J.K. Rowling, today is the 41st anniversary of when both of Harry Potter’s biological parents were killed by Lord Voldemort, the main villain of the franchise, in 1981. In commemoration of the anniversary that fictional event, I decided for this blog entry to talk about my journey through the cinematic world of Harry Potter. 

Seventeen days ago, I wrote a blog entry about how I unexpectedly became intrigued by the franchise of Harry Potter just before exploring the film series. I was hesitant to explore it due my own concerns, but my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to give it a chance. For each Saturday night after sunset for the past three weeks, I watched all eight films of the Harry Potter franchise.

Here are my thoughts on each of the films. I feel I should note these are only my personal opinions and no one has to agree with them. I am not a professional film critic so instead of critiquing the flaws of the films, I will instead say whether the liked each of them or not, try to briefly explain why, and share the lesson or lessons I have learned from each movie.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

 

I didn’t care for it upon my first viewing when it was first released on DVD. However, when I watched it recently, I thought it was a good introduction to the series. Just as Harry Potter was introduced to the magical world for the first time, we are introduced to it from his perspective. I have to admit that sometimes I would put this on as a sleeping aid, not because it's boring, but because to me it has a feel good/safe quality to it. Overall, I think it is a good introduction to the film series.

The scene that spoke to me the most was when Harry found the mirror of Erised and came back to gaze longingly at the reflection where his parents were in. Dumbledore soon appeared far behind him.

Dumbledore: Back again, Harry? 

Harry turns around and stands up.

Dumbledore: I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realize what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is.

Harry: So, then it shows us what we want? Whatever we want?

Dumbledore: Yes...and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you, who have never known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry. This mirror gives us neither knowledge nor truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. That is why tomorrow it will be moved to a new home, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

Harry then looked back at the mirror, knowing that Dumbledore was right. 

If I had stood before that same mirror, I would have found myself crying because I would have felt incomplete as the mirror would have, articulating without words, revealed what I did not know was my heart’s deepest desire and the missing pieces would finally come together. 

The lesson I learned from this scene was that I should not spend all of my time dreaming about the life I would have had or should have had. I should not focus on what I have lost and can never get back. Instead, I need focus on and be thankful for the good things I have now, the chances I still have, and to live in the present. This is a sobering lesson. For this reason, it is my favorite scene throughout the whole series.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

 

As with the previous film, I didn't care for it when it was first released. However, upon my recent viewing, I think it is very underrated. I thought it was a great follow-up from the first film and I found it enjoyable. The characters were great once again, including the three young portrayals played by Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson respectively. I like how they were discussing the clues that they found in their attempt to solve their second mystery for their second year at Hogwarts.

I liked the flashback scene in which Harry Potter magically enters though the diary of a past student named Tom Riddle in an attempt to uncover a mystery.

What I love most of this scene the most is see Albus Dumbledore (portrayed by the late Richard Harris). He is portrayed as soft, kind, soft and gentle, but with an unspoken power and fierce intelligence behind it.

He seems to be able to see through Tom Riddle and yet without seeming to judge him, invites him to open up about any wrongdoings if Tom ever wanted to. I think that Tom was still scared of Dumbledore and respected him even if Dumbledore had never raised his voice at him or used harsh language or violence. Dumbledore somehow knew that respect comes when one keeps their composure and morals even when they might feel otherwise. Richard Harris’ portrayal made him my favorite character of the series. Sadly, Richard Harris passed away before the film series was completed. I wish he could have played Dumbledore in the later films as well. 

A lesson that I have learned from the Chamber of Secrets was from exploring the characterization of Gilderoy Lockhart, portrayed by Kenneth Branaugh.

 

Gilderoy Lockhart, who was selected to be a professor of Defense against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, is a narcissist, incompetent, and a fraud. Though he was intelligent, he made his career by stealing the accomplishments of other wizards and witches and then covered up his tracks with memory spells. If he hadn't been so caught up with his own ego, he could have survived without permanent memory loss.

The character of Lockhart made me think about my own actions. I have been conceited, especially when I was in my twenties. People often said to me that I was talented and was destined for great things. Unfortunately, I let it get to my head. I often fantasized about being adored as icon, popular, greeted and cheered by great crowds, receiving acclaims from people. I too got caught up by my own ego when I did not work as hard as I should have. I overemphasized my desire for fame in my own life because I felt so unloved by my blood relatives. As a result, I have neither fame nor wealth nor friends. I am alone now and that was the price I paid for my own conceitedness.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

If the first and second film made me feel like a child discovering the wonders of the magical world, then the third film made me realize as we grow older things often appear darker and more complicated. With the darker tone, the director Alfonso Cuaron really raised the bar by introducing dementors, a werewolf, the shrieking shack, the night bus, the time travel, and Sirius Black (portrayed by Gary Oldman). The cinematography is stunning, which makes the film the most visually well-done of all of the films in this series. 

I also noticed that Professor Dumbledore was now portrayed another actor named Michael Gambon.

This was due to the passing of Richard Harris in 2002. Others have complained of his portrayal of the old wizard since it is so different from Mr. Harris’ interpretation, but I have personally do not have any issues with the change in actors and characterization. I had seen Michael Gambon in other movies, including one on my favorite movies called “Path to War,” a 2002 HBO movie about the Vietnam War seen through the eyes of the administration of the 34^th President of the United Starts - Lyndon Baines Johnson (whom Mr. Gambon portrayed and in a film which I highly recommend viewing).

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) 

Out of all the Harry Potter films, I liked this one the least. Throughout my viewing of the film, I felt that the film was too compact and that there were plot points that were omitted for the sake of running time. I do not hate the film, but I feel that a different director should have been asked to take on this project. The director apparently didn’t read the book either, which should have alerted the movie studios attention so they could find someone else to direct this film. Though I have never read the books, I noticed that in viewing a boxed set of the first four Harry Potter books that four book is larger than the third one. 

This led me to think that the movie should have been given a longer running time to give the film more breathing room and give time to scenes and for the plot to better develop. I think it could have been done. If the 2003 film “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” and the 2019 film “Avengers: Endgame” were long running times and were able to be massive box office successes respectively, I think “the Goblet of Fire” could have done the same if it was done right with the right director.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

The Ministry of Magic (the government in their world) has decided to interfere by appointing a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge (brilliantly portrayed Imelda Staunton), who proves to be a cruel teacher and administrator who teaches how magic should be taught in theory, but not in practice. So, Harry forms a small group among his closest friends in order that they can privately and independently learn how to defend themselves against dark forces despite being forbidden by the new administrator to do so. Unfortunately, the group is exposed, and they are punished. Ultimately, Harry and his friends prevail, despite personal sacrifices and loss.

Because the story was told so well and because I felt so involved in it, it made me think of I would have done if I was a student at Hogwarts at that time. Would I have joined Harry and taken part in his forbidden independent study group, or would I have conformed to the new rules out of fear to keep from being expelled? I’d like to believe that I would have been brave, stood with Harry, and done the right thing despite the challenges, but I’m not so sure because I also would have been concerned about own academic and future career. Perhaps if I had friends like Harry did and with strong support, I probably would have been less afraid. This film taught me that true leaders have to stand for their beliefs and principle no matter how deep in the mud they’re in and if I’m to be a leader I have to be ready to face challenges, setbacks, and criticism. It will not be an easy journey.

On a lighter note, I thought that Imelda Staunton’s performance as Professor Umbridge was very well done in which she made audiences hate her character as intended. I have been told that Ms. Staunton is very kind in real life, a class act, and I’d like to meet her someday. Because of her amazing acting ability, I am confident that she will do a spectator job in her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II in the upcoming fifth season of “The Crown” premiering on Netflix next month. 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

I felt that the movie was well done, although I felt that the film should have been split into two parts. The reason being is because I felt that more could have shown to us from flashbacks scenes to the origins of Lord Voldemort so we as an audience could explore and see the evil growing inside of him. Despite my opinion, I think the film is a good setup for the next final films that complete the saga.

Instead of explaining the plot of the film, I wanted to talk about a scene that nothing to do with the overall plot but spoke to me personally. In the beginning of the film, Harry and Professor Dumbledore go to the home of Horace Slughorn (Jim Broadbent), a former lecturer and teacher who used to work at Hogwarts who Dumbledore is trying to persuade to return to his former job as Professor of Potions.

There was a moment in the film where Slughorn shows Harry his photos of himself with important people from the wizarding world, showing off his connections to his “famous friends.”

“You recognize Barnabas Cuffe, editor of the Daily Prophet. Always takes my owls, should I wish to register an opinion on the news of the day.”

Slughorn then points to another photo.

“Gwenog Jones, captain of the Hollyhead Harpies. Free tickets whenever I want them. Of course, I haven't been to a match in some time.”

Dumbledore himself later explains to Harry afterwards, “You're talented, famous, and powerful, everything Horace values. Professor Slughorn is going to try to collect you, Harry. You would be his crowning jewel. That's why he's returning to Hogwarts and it's crucial he should return.”

This made me think much like Professor Slughorn that I prize fame and power more than anything else in my life and I am a collector. In fact, much like Professor Slughorn, I have had photos taken with dignitaries, including three governors of my home state, two senators, two mayors, two congressional representatives, two ambassadors, one prime-minister of another country (at Harvard University of all places), four presidential candidates, and had even received a letter from President Obama in early 2017. 

This scene made me rethink my values, which were based on superficial aspirations like popularity and fame. I don’t need to showcase my connections to famous people to feel a sense of self-worth. I need to be humble about myself and I need to prize deeper values such as essential truths and friendships. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 (2010)

By the time of the film’s release, the main characters Harry, Ron, Hermoine and all the other students have grown up. Along with them, the audiences have also grown up with the Potter franchise. Since this film is based on the first half of the seventh final book, the main characters are preparing for their upcoming conflict with Lord Voldemort (played by Ralph Fiennes). Although I believe that film started and ended well, I felt that the film dragged in the middle. The film is fine on its own merits though. I do not hate it and I would watch it again if I ever revisit the franchise. At the time of the film’s release, the audience had to wait one year to see the conclusion. I had the benefit of not having to wait that long and that very Saturday night, I watched both films and completed the saga just in time for Halloween.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 (2011)

The series concludes on a very strong note with a phenomenal battle with few fronts being waged, good ultimately triumphs over evil, characters receive their own proper resolutions, and a fitting end comes to an immense saga. It was entertaining and we, the audience, were given in my opinion the best film in the franchise for last. You could tell that everyone involved in this film, gave it all they could. They poured all of themselves into this film and the hard work they put in had paid off. I salute them and thank them for their service in doing their best to give us entertainment.

Now that I have watched all eight Harry Potter films on my screen for this month of October, here are my concluding thoughts on the saga. At times, the films served as a mirror, though not like the Mirror of Erised, but a metaphorical one that led to me reconsider my own actions and behavior through the characterizations of Professors Lockhart and Professor Slughorn and they taught me to re-examine myself, learn from my mistakes, and try to be a better person. While I do not consider the all the films to be masterpieces, they are entertaining, and I may revisit the series on a future date (perhaps next Halloween). 

I liked the saga, but I did not love it. I was too old for it to be a part of any formative stage of my development. perhaps if I read the books, I would appreciate it more. However, I find that I am too old to get into this franchise. Actor Michael Gambon mentioned in a forum that he did not mind if children recognized him as Dumbledore but would be annoyed if an adult did so. It made me think that I should not dive headfirst into the fandom of Harry Potter, but rather to admire it from afar. I do not see myself buying wands or diorama models of Hogwarts or any other items relating to the franchise. I will not buy the books either, but if someone offers to give me some of copies (preferably boxed sets), I will accept. 

However, one of my friends (the librarian who encouraged me to explore the film series) once wrote to me before I took my cinematic journey through the film series. She wrote, “Hey, maybe you’ll fall in love with Harry Potter, and you and I could travel to Universal together one day and go to Hogwarts.” I would take her up on it if she felt comfortable doing so. I would love to ride on the Hogwarts Express train ride with her from “Hogsmeade” to “Diagon Alley” at Universal Orlando in Florida. I’m sure that she and I would feel like a first-year students about to enter the actual Hogwarts Express train and preparing to go to “Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” for an adventure of a lifetime. 

It’s a feeling I believe I share with most Harry Potter fans. A throb deep in our hearts knowing we will never truly be able to go to the one place where we’ve all felt so at home. All we can hope for is that we can carry this feeling deep in our hearts forever never forgetting it as we journey on.

Intrigued by Harry Potter (Part 1)

Since the passing of Queen Elizabeth II into history last month, I have not only been studying the history of British monarchy in my spare time, but I also wanted to learn more about British culture. In so doing, a franchise has come to my attention, which I have been ignoring for so long. It is a series of seven fantasy novels, which also became a film franchise named “Harry Potter” created by author J.K. Rowling. The series is a about the boy named Harry Potter who goes to a magical school named Hogwarts to learn how become a wizard. Along his journey, he makes a few friends (as well as some enemies), goes on adventures, endures personal turmoil, hardship, and sacrifice, learns meaningful and powerful lessons, and yet through it all - triumphs.    

I am surprised by the fact that although I am in my mid-thirties, I find myself becoming drawn to it now. I never was before. The first book of the series called ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ was published when I was eleven years old, but I was unaware of it, and I was not interested in reading at the time. Even when the book was adapted into a film in 2001, I was not particularly interested though I did see the film when it was released on DVD. I saw each of the first four films only once when they were releases on DVD, but I had not had any repeat viewings since. My interests were elsewhere. Since I did not grow up with the stories and themes throughout the series, I feel as though I had missed out on the whole experience of getting excited over the release of both the books and the films. 

Now fifteen years after the publication of the seventh and final novel of the book series in 2007, I am now being strangely drawn to Harry Potter (perhaps like a moth to a flame), though I am not sure why. Why am I being drawn into this series? Is it merely curiosity? Why does it feel like a temptation? I feel as though I am about to wander through a slightly darkened corridor filled with relics I have not yet seen before. My curiosity is getting the better of me and so I am tip toeing with caution into the corridor without knowing what is on the other side or whether I will get caught. 

Admittedly, I was hesitant to explore the series. I am fearful that I may become a fan of it and be tempted to collect items relating to it. I was also worried that if I were to read the books, I would be absorbing information that was irrational, unnecessary, and useless. I worried that I would be wasting my time. Besides, at my age, I always thought of Harry Potter as being geared more towards children and I would be embarrassed if this was true. Am I too old for it? Am I being snobbish about it? I then reached out to two of my friends on twitter to seek their advice. One friend replied, “I love Harry Potter. You will probably get hooked but who cares you do you, don’t ever be embarrassed.”

Another friend, who is now a librarian, told me of her origins of how she became interested in Harry Potter. She told me that she was not interested in the books or movies until she was 19 years old. At that time, she was in college, playing volleyball, and had a tournament. Her roommate brought the first movie to watch on her laptop and she became hooked. They often watched the first two movies together, though the third film was not released as of yet. During some of the tough times and personal heartaches she endured, she found herself watching the first movie at night before bed for a feel good/safe movie. She continued to love it since. After the third movie came out, she then read the books. She advised me, “I would start with the movies for fun if I were you. If you enjoy them, read the books. The books are much more detailed and could possibly ruin the movies for you, which seems to be the case a lot of the times for me with books vs. movies.”

After reading the responses of my online friends, I ended up purchasing a “Harry Potter: Years 1-6” Widescreen 6-Disc DVD Box Set from eBay with the winning bid of $0.99 with $3.49 for shipping (though no one else was bidding). I thought it was a good price for six movies.

Soon after my purchase, I realized that I did not have the concluding two films called "Deathly Hollows" Part 1 (2010) and Part 2 (2011) on DVD, so I decided to search for them online and buy them locally if I could. Against my better judgement, I found myself doing something I never thought I would do. Several days ago, there was a local listing online on Facebook marketplace for “Harry Potter 8 Film Favorites Years 1-4 & 5-8” Movies DVDs with Slipcovers, which was selling for only 10 dollars. 

I thought it was a good price for eight movies and I thought they could be used as good back up discs in any case of the other ones froze while playing or wouldn't load in the DVD player. I then contacted the seller through Facebook, and we agreed to meet at a local bus/train/subway station for out transaction at 6:30pm on the seventh of October. When the afternoon of that day arrived, I arrived early at the station, and I soon found myself staring at the dark clouds approaching while the sun was setting. I wondered if it was an omen.

Before I knew it, the seller approached me and said, “Manny?”

“Oh yes. Hello,” I replied.

“Here you go,” she said as she handed me the DVDs.

“And here you go. Thank you,” I replied as I handed her the 10-dollar bill.

Once our transaction was completed, she was gone as suddenly as she had appeared. I felt a little sad. She seemed like a nice person, and I would have loved to have been friends with her, but I understand why she left quickly. I am a stranger, I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t need me as a friend. I ended taking the long way on my journey back to my apartment. On my walk, I realized just how lonely I was. Perhaps, like Harry Potter, I was looking for a place to belong to and in longing to form a strong bond of friendship.

Now it has been one week since I acquired the DVDs, and I am about to embark on my journey through the cinematic world of Harry Potter. I have a mundane plan for the month of October. Every Saturday night happens to be my movie night and so I intend to watch two Harry Potter films per Saturday night until October 31st of this year. Now I have the DVDs of the whole film series, I am going to watch them all and there is no turning back. After I finish viewing the films for the month of October, we will see what happens from there.

What lessons will I learn from these movies? Will I become a fan of this? What will I discover through this journey? 

I don’t have many expectations, but here is what I think might happen. I think I will like the film series. I think I will end up becoming a casual fan at the very least, but I don't expect to be able to participate in any Harry Potter trivia games and know every answer to every question on it. I think that if I end up liking it, it will become a guilty pleasure. I am hoping that I can at least glean some lessons from it and maybe even indirectly learn some writing and/or storytelling tips indirectly from the creation of J.K. Rowling.  

In my next blog entry (slated for October 31 or sometime in the beginning of the month of November), I intend to share my thoughts on each of the films, my cinematic experience through the series, and its impact on me. I hope that it will be an enlightening one.

With all this said, I want to conclude this blog entry with a quote. I was unsure of what kind of quote I could share. I didn't want to use a mere sentence or dialogue from the books. After some searching, I have thought that the concluding remarks of J.K. Rowling's commencement address of Harvard University in 2008 would be appropriate. I have chosen her concluding remarks for two reasons. First, the campus of the prestigious university in which she spoke years ago, have been my stomping grounds for over a year now and I live within a few miles for there. Secondly (as you will read), her literal walk to the end of a corridor leading her to the study of Classics mirrors my metaphorical walk through a corridor leading me to the cinematic stories that were created by her.

Here are the following words written and spoken by J.K. Rowling:

“One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives. Thank-you very much.”

My Tribute to Queen Elizabeth II (1926-2022)

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Mountbatten Windsor

(April 21, 1926 – September 8, 2022)

Throughout the day of the death of Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain on September 8, 2022, I was largely unaware of it because I was at the location of my job all afternoon and evening with no way of knowing since I only have a flip phone, and no one mentioned it. I assumed that it would just be another mundane day and I couldn’t wait to get back to my apartment to relax and start my weekend. I had no plans to make. When I finally made it back long past midnight, I logged onto twitter, and it was then that I learned that The Queen had died.

I was initially surprised that she had passed away. After all, her mother lived to be 101 years of age and I thought that she would do the same. Just before I went to work, I read on a post on twitter that the Queen was “resting comfortably” at Balmoral Castle in Scotland while under medical supervision. I saw a reply to that post mentioning that ““resting comfortably” meant that they were preparing for the end. I hoped that it wasn’t true, and she would live for at least a few more years. Alas, it was not to be. I know that death comes to us all, but I can’t imagine the world without her. I’m still in my thirties and she has reigned my entire life.

Because of the historical significance of this event, I wanted to make a literary tribute to the Queen through this blog entry because I want to express what she has meant to me in my own feeble words and to share what I have indirectly learned from her. Throughout the coming days there will be many tributes, commentaries, and eulogies dedicated to her that will be far more eloquently expressed than anything I can convey. I know that hardly anyone would want to know what I think about the late monarch, after all I am only a commoner. Nevertheless, I hope that any words that I express will bring honor to her memory and her legacy. 

By the time I was born in 1986, Queen Elizabeth II had been reigning for thirty-four years since the passing of her own father, King George VI, in February of 1952. When I was growing up, I was largely indifferent and unaware of the Queen largely because I was born, educated, and living in United States and I was not influenced to take an interest in international affairs. World History simply did not interest me until much later. The only significant event from my childhood that I could recall that related to the Queen occurred in 1997, just days after the death of the former Princess of Wales – Diana Spencer.

I was eleven years old at the time, but I did not even know who Princess Diana was until her death was reported on the news on television. One every channel it was being reported and commented on constantly though I was unaware of its significance. I do remember one Friday afternoon on September 5, 1997, when I saw a broadcast of a public speech given by Queen Elizabeth, which would be the first time in which she spoke on Princess Diana’s death.

She said, “We have all been trying in our different ways to cope. It is not easy to express a sense of loss, since the initial shock is often succeeded by a mixture of other feelings: disbelief, incomprehension, anger, and concern for those who remain. We have all felt those emotions in these last few days. So, what I say to you now, as your Queen and as a grandmother, I say from my heart.

First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good times and bad, she never lost her capacity to smile and laugh, nor to inspire others with her warmth and kindness. I admired and respected her for her energy and commitment to others, and especially for her devotion to her two boys. This week at Balmoral, we have all been trying to help William and Harry come to terms with the devastating loss that they and the rest of us have suffered.

No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew her, will remember her. I for one believe there are lessons to be drawn from her life and from the extraordinary and moving reaction to her death. I share in your determination to cherish her memory.”

I remember that I was inside my room on that Friday afternoon when I watched the speech in full because I sensed that a historical event was taking place and the Queen’s speech added to its importance. This would also mark the first time in which I would ever see the Queen and hear her speak. No one else that I knew was aware of her speech or even spoke about the events surrounding it. So, for the next six years, I continued to be largely unaware of any future events relating the Royal Family of Great Britain.

Years later, on a lazy Sunday afternoon in 2002, a four-part documentary series called “The Windsors: A Royal Family” (which was actually produced in 1994) was re-airing on PBS. 

I decided to watch the entire rebroadcast that day since nothing else was on television. I had learned so much history through viewing the series. I did not know that the Royal Family had Germanic roots and that because of anti-German sentiments during the first world war influenced them to change their name from “Saxe-Coburg Gotha” to the House of Windsor named after Windsor Castle "that had symbolized the monarchy for more than eight hundred years. It's stone walls as solid and as English as the earth on which it stood." 

I was surprised to know that the two eldest sons of King George V would both become monarchs and that King Edward VIII would abdicate within a year to marry the love of his life - Wallis Simpson. I was moved by the bravery of George VI when he became king despite his own insecurities about his speech impediment and own abilities. He rose to the accept his duties and responsibilities to his people just before Great Britain was about to enter into the second world war and chose to remain with his people through their darkest days instead of fleeing the country. I was saddened when he died. I wish he could have lived longer. I believe that because of his virtues that he was Great Britain’s greatest king.

Soon after viewing the rebroadcast of “The Windsors: A Royal Family,” I also saw a television film called “Bertie & Elizabeth,” which is about the relationship between King George VI and his wife from their courtship until his death. Both of the documentary series and the television film prompted me to take an interest in learning more about the British Royal Family. Since I had no books about them, I mostly conducted my own research on them through the internet. It was not until 2013/2014 when I found a second-hand copy of “Elizabeth the Queen: The Life of a Modern Monarch” by Sally Bedell Smith at a book sale at the Framingham Public Library for only two dollars. As of yet, I regrettably have not made time to read it.

It was during this time (2013/2014) that I also saw a 2006 film called “The Queen,” written by Peter Morgan and starring Helen Mirren in the title role of Queen Elizabeth II. The film itself was originally released when I was a college student and had wanted to see ii, but I never did until years later. I eventually rented a copy of the DVD when I was looking for a movie to rent for the weekend. I liked the film and sometime later, I eventually found a copy of the film on DVD for $4.99 at a local Barnes and Noble Bookstore. Though I have only viewed the film twice so far, I felt that I understood the Queen to some degree. She was also human even though she carried the weight of history.  

My respect for Queen Elizabeth II deepened in November of 2016, when the first season of a historical television drama about her reign called “The Crown” premiered on a streaming service called Netflix. 

The series was written by Peter Morgan, who also wrote the script for the 2006 film “The Queen.” I was thankful for the educational rebroadcast of “The Windsors: A Royal Family,” which provided me with context to help me to understand the plot and story about the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, on which “The Crown” is based on. The series quickly became my favorite series that is still in production, and it deepened my respect for the Queen even further. It was on the second episode after learning that her father, George VI had died, Elizabeth understood that she had to step up become the leader she was born to be. I can’t even imagine the enormous weight of the world that she must have felt at the passing of her father. She had to bear her grief with dignity.

One scene that stood out for me was of the letter that Queen Mary, mother of the late King George VI, sent to her granddaughter who had just become the new Queen of Great Britain:

 “Dearest Lilibet, I know how you loved your papa, my son, and I know you will be as devastated as I am by this loss. But you must put those sentiments to one side now, for duty calls. The grief of your father's death will be felt far and wide, your people will need your strength and leadership. I have seen three great monarchies brought down through their failure to separate personal indulgences from duty. You must not allow yourself to make similar mistakes. And while you mourn your father, you must also mourn someone else: Elizabeth Mountbatten. For she has now been replaced by another person: Elizabeth Regina. The two Elizabeths will frequently be in conflict with one another. The fact is...the crown must win. Must ALWAYS win.”

This taught me that I have to follow my principles and not my personal feelings. My head (principles) must be obeyed above my heart (emotions). I think this is about self-control and I believe that this is the job of the sovereign. The Sovereign is essentially a symbol of human strength that when everything goes wrong, we have at least one person who will remain stoic, composed, professional, impartial and what it means to react to global incidents that affect everyone. Very few people are or were more emotionally stronger and professional than Queen Elizabeth II and I believe that more leaders should follow her example.

Even in a monarchy that owns all the power, one must remain impartial and dedicated to your duty to watch over your country. The Queen may not have particularly approved of certain people’s candid display of deep inner emotion; however, it was not hers or any Sovereign's duty to indulge in somewhat of a very biased subject. The Sovereign's purpose is to remain strong, focused, and unaffected in such profound and contentious circumstances and to serve as a guiding model through crises, but also understanding enough to adapt to the changes brought by time.

Another scene that stood out was in episode 4 when a thick fog had fallen over London, and Queen Elizabeth went to see her grandmother Queen Mary to ask for advice on to how handle the crisis she was facing. Queen Mary tells her:

“Monarchy is God’s sacred mission to grace and dignify the earth, to give ordinary people an ideal to strive towards; an example of nobility and duty to raise them in their wretched lives; monarchy is a calling from God.

That’s why you are crowned in an Abbey not in a government building, you are anointed, not appointed. It’s an archbishop that puts the crown on your head, not a minister or public servant, which means you are answerable to God in your duty, not the public.”

I liked this scene because of the way that Queen Mary, with her knowledge and breadth of experience, explained the necessity of a monarchy to her granddaughter. There were those who looked up to Queen Elizabeth II as a role model. I believe that she truly lived up to this view. I am saddened the Queen was the last or few left of the traditions, manners of her time and I do not see this role model quality or restraint in anyone else, except for King Felipe VI of Spain, who I also greatly admire. I hope that Queen Elizabeth’s successors to the throne of England will be able to carry the standard that she set for herself.

I suppose this blog entry should be called “Lessons I Learned from ‘The Crown,’” and while there were other personal lessons that I learned from it; the truth is "The Crown,” and programs such as “The Windsors: A Royal Family,” “The Queen,” and others that became a combination of factors that led to my interest in learning more about and made me appreciate Queen Elizabeth II. I am aware that "The Crown" is historical fiction and creative liberties were taken for the sake of drama. However, the main lesson that I learned from it and indirectly from The Queen herself is on how to lead by example.

Through her seven decades as monarch, she exemplified what it meant to be a servant -leader. In times of war, strife, and controversy, she managed to rise above and overcome every obstacle with an immense sense of grace, duty and dignity. Throughout her reign, she became a perpetual symbol of strength and stability for her nation in a world that was constantly changing. We should let the Queen's life of service remind us of the huge, tangible power for peace and stability that the British monarchy has been for everyone in Great Britain, the commonwealth, and for the world. As Winston Churchill said of King George VI, he could also say of Queen Elizabeth II that her “conduct on the Throne may well be a model and a guide to constitutional sovereigns throughout the world today and also in future generations." Of course, the Queen may have had her own personal failings, but despite the mistakes that she made, let us be grateful for the service she gave, and for the difference the monarchy makes for the betterment of her country and in the world. We may never see anyone like her again in our lifetime. She was a truly special human being who graced and dignified the earth.

Both "The Crown" and the passing of Queen Elizabeth II into history have also prompted a desire to order and collect biographical books of British monarchs ranging from the kings of the Plantagenet dynasty to the House of Windsor, build a personal library, and learn of their stories. However, I cannot do this since I am on a limited income at the moment and have no more space for books or bookshelves. I already have a list of more books that I wish to acquire, but I will have to be satisfied with the few books on the British monarchy that I have, which are "Elizabeth the Queen: The Life of a Modern Monarch" by Sally Bedell Smith and "The Heir Apparent: The Life of Edward VII, the Playboy Prince” by Jane Ridley. The sensible thing to do would be to continue my hold on buying more books and for the time being, I am going to make time to read "Elizabeth the Queen" to honor her memory, learn more about her, and further appreciate her service to her country. 

I have nothing more to add to this blog entry. I have no predictions on how King Charles III will be as monarch or whether the British monarchy will survive. Instead of making redundant speculations of the future, I will wait to see how events will play out as the years pass. I hope that whatever happens will occur for the best interests of Great Britain and of the world. For now, I wish to conclude this blog entry by quoting a pledge which then Princess Elizabeth made on 21st birthday in Cape Town, South Africa in 1947: “I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.”

And Her Majesty, The Queen had borne her duties wonderfully for seventy years. Under her scepter, The Crown always won.

Longing For School

Yesterday, August 25, 2022, was the thirteenth anniversary of when Edward Moore Kennedy, Senator of Massachusetts for forty-seven years, brother of the late President John F. Kennedy (1917-1964), New York Senator Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968), and Ambassador Jean Kennedy Smith (1928-2020), died at the age of seventy-seven in the year of 2009. I wanted to go pay my respects when he lay in state at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, but I was unable to go. At that time, I was going through a very dark period in my life since I had recently dropped out of school when I was in my early twenties. I had wanted to meet Senator Kennedy when he was alive. After all, he had witnessed memorable events in history, was acquainted with ten presidents since he entered the senate and was the youngest sibling of his family’s generation.    

Yesterday was also Move-In Day at Harvard University, in which the incoming first- year students would move to campus during the last two weeks of August. This also made me feel sad as well because I remembered being a young college student looking forward to the future and now, I feel as though I am wasted potential. I wish I was in their shoes because at least they have promising futures ahead of them whereas mine seems to be behind me. Because of this, I am going to write what is going to be a personal blog entry because I’m going to talk about something that has been bothering me for years. Several years ago, I dropped out of school because of a combination of different factors. To summarize, I didn’t have enough money, I didn’t work hard enough as a student, and the fault is my own. I can’t gloss over my failures. If I had worked harder, I would have gotten a lot more accomplished. As a result, I’m in a stage in which I’m trapped in a situation I don’t know how to get out of.

When I first entered college as a first-year student at the age of twenty, I was scared because I was bullied at high school, and I didn’t know how if I was going to experience that again. I was also very shy and timid. However, to my surprise I became popular on campus over the course of three years. I took up an interest in politics and I was encouraged to pursue that career by both professors and students. I used to listen to the speeches of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Bill Clinton to memorize what they said to quote them, learned techniques of how they spoke effectively, and took inspiration from their words. My nickname on campus was “Mr. President” and would often times shake people’s hands in the same way a politician would when they were campaigning for office. I was friendly to everyone, although a few times it was not always reciprocated. Despite this, for the first time in my life, I felt loved and appreciated because among my own relatives I was seen as an outcast because I wanted to engage in a higher level of discussion and was interested in subjects that were intellectually stimulating. On the campus of the university I attended, I felt as though I belonged, appreciated, and that I had a future to look forward to.

I loved school so much that I hated going home for the holidays or summer break because I felt trapped among my small-minded relatives. Each time I had to return to my hometown, I felt isolated and lonely. I couldn't wait to return to campus. I have to say that I also miss the diversity of thought at the university and people’s readiness to express themselves. That's one thing I'm starving for here, an outlet to really chew on ideas and learn in a peer centered setting. I miss sharing ideas and building on them. Learning from my peers helped me to see that there was a world outside of my hometown and of the university waiting to be explored. I had dreamed of graduating from school (which was supposed to take place in 2010), traveling to different places and different countries like Rome, Italy, and meeting with and having a photo op with President Obama in the Oval Office of the White House among other dignitaries. Even the tough days were good days for me because I felt that I still had a future.

The greatest day of my college life took place on December 2, 2008, when I got to meet with Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. He came to my college that evening to talk about the economy, in a setting much like a Town Hall Meeting. Before he arrived, I asked a friend named Meagan, who happened to have a camera to take a picture of me and the Senator. She said that she would. Senator Kerry then arrived at 6:30pm to the sound of applause. I thought "Oh my goodness, it's really him." After the mayor introduced him, he then stepped forward to speak and spoke for about an hour. Then he took about 5 or 6 questions from the audience. He mentioned that he had to go to Charleston for another event, so he had to leave. In my mind I said, "You're not leaving until I get picture with you, mister." When the meeting ended, I noticed the crowd was going through the front entrance so there wasn't a lot of people around Kerry. As he was stepping through the doorway to leave, I shouted "Senator!" He looked up. Then made my way toward and then I said in a lower voice, "I'm actually down here.” When I finally got his attention, I then said, "Senator, I know that you have to leave right away, but could I please have a picture taken with you." "Oh sure," he said. I then took his hand and motioned for Meagan to take the picture. When she did take the picture, Senator Kerry then said to me, "Good luck in school." "Thank you, Sir." I replied as we shook hands once more. Then he was gone.

I was beaming for the rest of the school year, I couldn't believe I shook hands with the same person who debated George W. Bush, sailed with John F. Kennedy, worked with Ted Kennedy, campaigned with Bill Clinton, and campaigned for Barack Obama and he was right in front of me in person. I was honored and fortunate to have that picture taken him. The next day, I watched jib-jab videos of "This Land," and YouTube videos of his speeches and debates with President Bush and I still couldn't believe it was him. Some people mentioned to me that because of this, I was even more determined to go into politics. They may have been right. I was at the peak of my happiness, and they were the happiest years of my twenties, but it did not last.

I often procrastinated and waited until the last moment to do my homework. I was attentive to the courses I liked and was indifferent to those I didn't care for. I was also focused on my social life at the school because I liked the positive attention I was getting from the students, and I was subconsciously filling a void of feeling unloved from my relatives. These are no excuses. As a result, I was put on academic probation and eventually with no more money for school, I had to drop out. I was devastated and I wanted to die in that moment because I knew of the consequences of the difficulties of finding enjoyable employment and the climb to get back to school would be as insurmountable as attempting to climb Mount Everest. It hurts more because I know I could have done better, and things could have been different. I should have focused more on my studies rather than deluding myself by fantasizing about being a great man remembered and loved at last throughout history. I know now that if I worked harder, I would have gotten a lot more accomplished.

Over the years, I attended forums and lectures on my days off from working at my dead-end job as a dishwasher. During these times, I had the privilege of meeting three governors of my home state, two senators, two mayors, two congressional representatives, two ambassadors, one prime-minister of another country (at Harvard University of all places), four presidential candidates, and had even received a letter from President Obama in early 2017. Attending these lectures and meeting these dignitaries made me feel as though I were back in school, intellectually stimulated, and helped me to briefly cope with the fact that I was a college drop out. Those were rare moments of triumph and happiness. However, I still felt inadequate in comparison to my former college friends who had now moved on with their lives. I felt like a fraud for crafting an image of success on Facebook with my photo ops while friends were assuming that I had a career in politics, which is what I wish I was doing all this time.

Now almost a decade later after reluctantly leaving school, I moved closer to the Boston area of Massachusetts where my college friends invited me to move out here to start over, look for better jobs in the area, and eventually find my way back to school. However, after all this time, I’m still stuck in the same situation with no money to continue and fewer prospects. Each day I seem to think I have no future and often wonder whether I should end my existence. I don’t want to have an aimless life working at dead end jobs for the ungrateful. The fact is I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to go back to school more than anything.

What’s worse is that I have been subconsciously torturing myself for not finishing school. I live four miles from the campus of Harvard University where many notable people, including eight Presidents of the United States, have graduated from. Sometimes my intentions would be to go there to find peace and be surrounded by history, prestige, and to be intellectually stimulated. Lately, it became a place for me to mourn over my failures and of hoping to die if things don’t improve. It has become a place that I love and hate at the same time because it is everything that I wanted and yet am not allowed to be part of. I remember one weekday afternoon on a day I had off from work, I had just completed a job interview near the campus. I was walking on Harvard Yard, and I saw a group of students sitting a circle of chairs with a professor leading the discussion. I wanted to at least sit near them, take notes, and learn from the lecture, but I knew I would not be welcome as I was not a student there. I then went to another area at the campus and saw students eating together inside the Harvard Kennedy School and saw the comradery that made me wish I was 15 years younger, a lot more intelligent, and being a part of their community. I soon had to walk away because I was hurt from seeing what I could not be a part of. I then went to a private area on the campus where no one would see me and cried bitterly.

On another visit one Friday night in the springtime, I walked a little more than four miles from my apartment to Harvard Yard because I could not sleep. I went to exhaust myself and contemplate over the state of my life. When I got there, there were students hanging out together near the statue of John Harvard even though it was past 2:00 in the morning. I sat on the steps of Harvard Memorial Church, looked across to the Widener Library taking in the night scenery, and brooding bitterly over the state of my life. I noticed a young couple walking hand in hand up the steps of the library across from me. They soon began to laugh and chase each other up and down the stairs. I became more aware of my loneliness since I have never been married (or even had a girlfriend) and I also mourned over the fact that I could never open my heart to someone because of the emotional wounds that I carry within me. After some hours of sitting down and silently weeping, I finally walked back to my apartment emotionally drained, dehydrated, and defeated.

This was a difficult blog entry to write because it took me several times to complete. I believe it is because I had to face myself and my failures honestly for the first time in a public blog entry. I also had some fears that my future employers would see this blog entry and refuse to consider me for a position either in government, classroom, or in a museum and/or university. However, I needed this outlet to try to gain control of my emotions and to try to improve my mental health. In re-reading this, I feel that I have failed to fully articulate my sadness over this issue. I may return to edit this blog entry from time to time to order to better articulate my thoughts.

More than anything, I want to return to school to finish what I began, learn from the mistakes I made, redeem the time that I wasted, and finally graduate and move on with my life. Even if I do return, there will be some difficulties. One particular difficulty will be in connecting with other students since I will be considerably much older, but a positive outcome from it is that I will be able focus more on my studies. I will feel lonely though, but that will be the price I have to pay. I hope that by the time I do return, things will become much easier, and I will know what to do upon the completion of my studies. I am still hoping to be a historian, like one of my heroes David McCullough, write and publish at least nine books or more. I also hope that maybe I’ll get to meet some presidents and world leaders along the way.

And so, with all of this said, I don’t really know how to conclude this blog entry. After some searching, I decided to use some words from a speech that Senator Edward M. Kennedy made at the John F. Kennedy School of Government, located in Harvard University on October 25, 1991, in which he acknowledged his failures and promised to do better in the future. If he could do his best to redeem himself as he endured tragedy and faced his own struggles, maybe I could redeem myself as well. He knew what it was like to be humiliated, to suffer, underestimated, and to be considered the least, even within his own family. His story of redemption is one that I could look to for inspiration to become a better version of myself than I was before. I am grateful that he lived and that he was Senator of my home state.

He said, "Individual faults and frailties are no excuse to give in and no exemption from the common obligation to give of ourselves. I feel a special obligation to those who share my hopes for this state and nation who in the past have given me their help, and often even their hearts. My views on some issues that made some people angry over the years and frankly, I accept that as the price of fighting hard for my beliefs and I am painfully aware that the criticism directed at me in recent months involves far more than honest disagreements with my positions, or the usual criticisms from the far right, it also involves the disappointment of friends and many others who rely on me to fight the good fight. To them I say: I recognize my own shortcomings -- the faults in the conduct of my private life. I realize that I alone am responsible for them, and I am the one who must confront them. Today more than ever before, I believe that each of us as individuals must not only struggle to make a better world, but to make ourselves better, too and in this life, those endeavors are never finished."